No Matter What – Day 15

We wrap up this week of No Matter What with today’s prompt about control versus trust. To play along, see instructions at the end of the post.


G:  Where do you try and control your life rather than trust it will all be OK?

P:  A few years ago I came upon a book called Outrageous Openness by Tosha Silver. Like most books that rearrange my reality, it came to me at exactly the right time and introduced me to the concept that I might be better off to ease up on the controls.

Last spring when I was teaching my How to Get Your Groove Back class, I again turned to Tosha Silver and her new book Change Me Prayers.

Change Me Prayers are not pleas to be changed so we can tightly control every aspect of our lives.  Quite the opposite.  These prayers ask that we be changed so we can surrender to whatever life presents …. no matter what.

The truth is many of my prayers are best left unanswered.  Especially if they are some slightly veiled attempt to control something or someone.

When I’m truly aligned with the universe, the great creator, the gods, goddesses, or deity of the day, I don’t even have to ask for help.  Answers just appear.  Miracles abound.  Books fall off the shelf.  Packages appear from Amazon.

I have a limited grasp of reality.  My Divine Assistance Team, on the other hand, has a much better imagination and much broader view of the Big Picture.  The solutions they serve up are always grander than mine.  Even when they are so subtle I barely notice them.

The closer I get to living my life in alignment with who I really am instead of who I think I should be, what I think I should look like, or how I think I should spend my time, the easier life becomes.

Sure I’m wandering into woo-woo territory. But for someone who spent sixteen years in Santa Fe, this is sacred ground. I know my way around just about every alternative or metaphysical practice out there.

I was also born in a small farming community in the Midwest where one might suspect the stork took a slight detour on his way out west and accidentally dropped this “penny from heaven” at my parent’s door.

Consequently, I’m grounded in a really free-spirited sort of way.

So I’m absolutely sure of this.  I am much better off when I ask for an outcome that is best for all concerned instead of when I ask for the outcome I believe is best.

I am much better off when I allow for “this or something better” since remaining attached to only “this” rules out any chance of something better showing up.  Rookie mistake.

I am much better off when I trust that whatever it is, it will be okay. Even if it’s unpleasant. There are lessons to be learned, karma to come around, and webs to be woven.  I do not have to understand it to accept it.

It has taken me a considerable amount of time to figure this out. Even longer to trust it. I was intensely attached to my position as general manager of all things for quite some time.  Retiring from that position was the best move ever.

Besides, I have a Queendom to run now.  Instead of having a mighty military to protect and defend my assets, I do this by being vulnerable and surrendering.

And that, grasshopper, takes a lifetime of practice.


I’d love to hear how attempting to control your life is working out for you in the comments below.  If you’d like to play along just answer the prompt in your own words and leave them in the comments below or keep them to yourself in a journal.  If you’d like the world’s best coach Gillian to send you your own set of daily prompts, contact her at

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