The other day my friend Ann and I were talking about my experience serving on jury duty. It appeared as though our main contribution as jurors was simply to scare the beejeebees (as opposed to the Bee Gees) out of the defendant. Then we began to wonder what scaring the Bee Gees out of someone might look like.
After several moments of hilarity born out of a deep respect for the Bee Gees’ influence on our troubled teenage years, we were visited by what can only be described as the Mama Mia muse. She was clearly itching to do for the Brothers Gibb what she did for ABBA.
And that, my friends, is how Jury Duty: The Musical was conceived. I published the original version on http://www.midlifemacgyver.com. But after hearing from hundreds of Bee Gees fans (channeled through former fan club president Michelle H.), I had to amend the initial script in order to add additional songs and a more fitting title.
So come with me now as we step into a magically musical court room where every question can be answered with a Bee Gees song. Listen closely…. can you hear it already?
Heeere we are……. in a (court) room full of strangers…..
Prosecutor: Are you saying you have a medical condition that could prevent you from Stayin’ Alive?
Defendant: Yes. Night Fever.
Prosecutor: What is that?
Defendant: It’s just Emotion that’s taken me over.
Prosecutor: And what causes this condition?
Defendant: Too Much Heaven or too many Nights on Broadway.
Prosecutor: So you live in New York.
Defendant: No, Massachusetts.
Prosecutor: Previously you claimed to have a broken heart. How Can You Mend A Broken Heart?
Defendant: Run to Me and I will explain.
Prosecutor: Are you joking?
Defendant: No, I Started a Joke, which started the whole world crying, but I couldn’t see that the joke was one me. It was a tragedy.
Prosecutor: Define Tragedy.
Defendant: When the feeling’s gone and you can’t go on, it’s a tragedy.
Prosecutor: And this is a problem?
Defendant: Indeed. Clearly, you don’t know what it’s like, To Love Somebody the way I love you.
Prosecutor: How I am to respond to this?
Defendant: I’ve Gotta Get a Message to You.
Defendant: Words are all I have. Come On Over and we can be One.
Prosecutor: Objection! It’s just your Jive Talkin‘, telling me lies.
Defendant: No, Fanny, Be Tender with My Love. I’m the man who Loves You Inside Out, backwards and forwards with my heart hanging out.
Prosecutor: Just How Deep Is Your Love?
Defendant: Deeper than Islands in the Stream.
Prosecutor: Are you suggesting my Lonely Days are over then?
Defendant: Yes! You’re More Than a Woman to me. If I Can’t Have You, I don’t want nobody, baby. Don’t Throw It All Away by sending me to the slammer.
Prosecutor: If this is in fact true, I should be dancing.
Defendant: Of course, Boogie Child. You Should Be Dancing, yeah.
Judge: Do we have a verdict?
Jury: We believe the defendant has nothing to be Guilty of. Defendant, You Win Again. Prosecutor, even though this may feel like the New York Mining Disaster 1941, we don’t believe that a Love So Right will turn out to be so wrong. Don’t Forget to Remember the defendant would go to the Edge of the Universe for you.