Hey there, hi there, ho-ho-ho there!
It’s Day 8 of the Here to the New Year in Good Cheer Challenge.
Headlining today’s tips is the letter “H”. Put your headphones on and click here to hear them.
Hark the herald angels sing! Which begs the question, “Do you hear what I hear?” or am I hallucinating? Today I was hankering for a hack or a hook that would help you hoot and holler with happiness or at least hum along to a hassle-free hip-hop house party hit. I happened to hone in on recording this because caroling is out of the question. I can’t sing to save my life.
But I can hurtle through hundreds of “h” words in a horribly halting hammer-time haze. She who hesitates, complicates and hinders her hitch-hiking hero’s journey home for the holidays.
I’m recording this hurried and hobbled together blog post to humanize my written words. So huddle in close for hidden hints at what hooks the ear and hitches good cheer to the sound of one human humbling hearing and healing another.
I’m fully aware this may hurl me into humiliation and hamper my hopes of hatching a career in voice-overs. However, it’s what we do to help each other through the holidays. What will you hear today that highlights, hijacks, or harnesses your good humor?
I‘d love to hear what you heard in the comments below. If you prefer to hear these tips rather than read them, please let me know and I can make that happen for you. By the time we get to Plan “V”, I might just have some video for you as well. It never hurts to hypothesize!
It’s Day 16 of the Get Stuff Done 1 x31 Challenge and today your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find your happy place and spend some time there.
You may even opt to spend more than the 5-15 minutes on this one since surely it will spark joy. (See Day 15 for more on that.)
There was a study into drug addiction done in the late 1970’s by Canadian psychologist Bruce Alexander known as the Rat Park study* that has come up enough times in conversations lately to make me want to check into it further and share it with you.
I did some research and found a fabulous TED talk by Johann Hari called “Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong”. In Hari’s talk, he references the Rat Park study in which Alexander hypothesized that it wasn’t the addictive property of a drug that causes addiction so much as the living conditions that contribute to the struggle.
In a nutshell, given the choice between living in an isolated cage (or otherwise intolerable situation) with unlimited access to drugs or living in a rat “park” with interesting scenery, healthy food, lots of toys, enough space for mating, and equal access to unlimited drugs, rats who lived in the park choose to avoid the drugs despite their assumed addiction.
This theory was also used to explain how some Vietnam vets who had done a lot of heroin during the war were not addicted or continued to use drugs once they returned home. Or it may explain how you can have a hip replaced and be given a steady stream of morphine while you are in the hospital but not need to head to rehab before you head home.
What does all this have to do with you spending Saturday in the park?
The implication for us is that when we can find our park, our happy spot, our place of personal power and purpose, we don’t need to depend nearly as much on all the those things we may be slightly addicted to – be it Pokemon, shopping, gambling, smoking, sex-drugs-rock’n’roll, sports, social media – to do it for us.
We are wired for connection and meaning. As Hari so eloquently describes it, addiction to the drug of choice may seem like the only answer for those who can’t “bear to be present in their own lives”.
If you can be present for your own life with all the intricate and intimate connections and activities that give your life meaning as well as break your heart, you will most likely choose to do what supports and sustain that, rather than destroy it.
That’s why today I’m inviting you to spend this Saturday in the park, even if you can only go there in your mind. My hope is that you never lose sight of what matters to you and why. Take trips to your “park” any day of the week, so you seldom lose your way.
Feel free to share your happy spot memories or photos in the comments below.
Today’s photo was taken at Forsyth Park in Savannah, Georgia. It’s one of my favorite parks to walk and spend time in when I visit my nieces there.
*Click here to see how Stuart McMillen has brilliantly illustrated the details of the Rat Study in comic strip form. You can also see how this artist is using crowd sourcing to support his passion. I love it!
My all time favorite joke goes something like this.
A guy walks into a bar…
Instead of the usual grief, he’s hears, “Hi there, Handsome,” “Well, aren’t you a breath of fresh air?” “You work so hard, you deserve all the respect and success you have earned and then some.” On and on it goes, everything he’s ever wanted to hear.
Imagining he must be dreaming, he says to the bartender, “What’s going on?”
The reply? “Oh, that’s the nuts. They’re complimentary.”
I love that joke for many reasons. It’s funny, it’s clean, and like the nuts, it’s complimentary.
Who wouldn’t love to walk into a place where everyone knows your name and the very things about you that make you extraordinary, endearing, valuable, and lovable?
With this in mind I am on a mission to surround myself with things and people that complement my life. Easier said than done, of course. But this is the impetus behind the relentless removal of that which does not spark joy.
In the past month I have deleted over 1,000 emails from my Inbox, 7 boxes of books, 9 bags of clothing, 3 boxes of pantry items, a truck load of miscellaneous garage and basement stuff, and I’m just getting started.
Although Bob is generally elated about this, when he saw me eyeing my shoe collection, he thought about calling my family for an intervention.
Shoes are sacred territory in my world. If they went, he feared he might be next. But shoes, by their very nature, are made for walking. Bob is one of those complimentary nuts I want to keep around.
At this time of year I’m usually in full flower frenzy. This year, however, a clean sweep is in order.
My first clue that I had some cleaning to do was when my computer refused to function. Apparently it had been quietly accumulating updates and all kinds of miscellaneous clutter over the years to the point that my hard drive was full.
If it had been attempting to inform me of this all along, I didn’t pay any particular attention. Freezing up and holding all my content hostage, however, did get my attention.
After a few choice words, I had to laugh at the literal perfection of this predicament. After a year and a half of non-stop training, learning, and accumulating knowledge there was literally no place else for the download of information to go. My cup runneth over.
Knowing how dramatically two dietary detoxes within a six month period could improve my health, I decided to apply the same principles to my home, my office, my bookshelves, and a few relationships.
Like changing my eating habits, changing my environment would require an undeniable reason to do so and a fool-proof plan. These came in the form of a little book called The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and an understanding that in order for new things to come into my life, I must release what’s over and done with.
While there is a certain amount of melancholy that accompanies the letting go of unexpressed potential, there is great joy in surrendering to who I am now. A quirky coach who can help people get their groove back. The only real requirement was that I do the work first and get my own house in order.
Although I have gotten my groove back, I still have some tidying up to do. And if I do it right, I will free up enough room on my internal hard drive for life’s latest upgrade.
What about you? What’s spurring you into action this summer?
Share if you dare in the comments below.
It happens every year. We start out the season with visions of Christmases past when we were younger, things were easier, and our lives were manageable. This year we vow to re-create the magic. We’ll shop early, get organized, entertain lavishly without gaining an ounce, attend every school program and office party, and enjoy all the pleasures of the season.
This vow lasts until the reality of relentless schedules, impossible expectations, extra activities, and crowds at every corner bring this vision sharply into question. Then the question is no longer how will we celebrate but how will we survive?
The good news is we always survive. The bad news is we don’t always utilize the stress management techniques we perfected by the end of last holiday season. However, this year we have a new strategy.
It’s called tunes and tips. When you hear the tune, let it trigger the tension-tackling tip. And what better songs than Christmas carols to keep you humming through the holidays?
1. ‘Tis the Season to Be Jolly…
If you’ve lost your sense of humor, find it immediately! Stuff happens and you need to keep your wits about you.
Create a stress relief kit that contains anything that conjures up calm for you. Suggestions include a foot massager, a packet of herbal tea, island getaway brochures, funny photos, your favorite music, or an emergency clown nose. Or find an app for your phone that helps you relax and is at your fingertips when you need it.
You are only one thought away from a different perspective.
2. Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let it Go…
You don’t have to wish for that fluffy white stuff to perfect the holiday picture. But it is wise to acknowledge that there are certain things that are out of your control, like the weather. What is in your control is your reaction to events.
Letting go of your expectations of how events should unfold, how people should behave, and what should happen allows you to be present to what is actually going on.
3. Dashing Through the Snow…
Movement is essential to your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Since Santa supposedly has your new exercise equipment, now may not be an opportune time for you to start a fitness program. But you can easily incorporate movement into your day.
Having to park three miles away from any place peopled with shoppers gives you an excellent opportunity to squeeze in a little aerobic activity. Carrying your purchases back to that same location might be considered strength training.
There are a myriad of ways to work in a workout. Get creative and have some fun sprinkling your day with activity sprints.
4. Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire…
Too many of those nuts, candies, and homemade delights can tip the scales out of your favor. Notice how you eat, drink, and be merry. If you are eating Christmas cookies to handle your woes or drinking Jack Daniels to prevent Jack Frost from nipping at your nose, the combination of indulgences could wreak havoc on your health.
People tend to put on an extra pound or two over the holidays, which isn’t a big deal if it comes off in the New Year. Unfortunately, for many it becomes the new set point that inches up year after year.
To guarantee that you don’t become one of those weight bearing statistics, plan for party temptations by eating a healthy snack before you go. Once there, fill up on food for thought instead of food from the party platter. Pay attention to the decorations, check out the entertainment, or visit with the bearded man and his little friends.
5. Making a List and Checking It Twice…
Don’t expect your already overloaded mind to remember any more than your way home and the names of your immediate family members. Count on lists to remind you of those things you have determined you must do. Make as many lists as necessary and review them before taking action. Prioritize, organize, scrutinize, and compromise, if necessary.
Even if your superpower is finding the perfect gift for everyone on your list and you love to mix and mingle with the masses, make sure to shop when you are well-rested and well-fed. Shopping when fatigued, famished, or frazzled can lead to costly buyer’s remorse.
6. Deck the Halls…
Surround yourself with things that bring you joy. Designate a room, corner, or cupboard as your own. Then decorate that space as only you know how. Bring a bean bag elf to the office or hang mistletoe in the cafeteria. Your spirit needs nourishment and encouragement. Be sure to give yourself the time and a place to celebrate what is sacred to you.
Many people use this time of year to reflect on the current year and make goals, set intentions, and strategically plan for the new year. Be sure to schedule some down time amidst all the hustle and bustle to envision, dream, think, contemplate, relax, pray, or hang out in nature.
7. I’ll Be Home for Christmas…
Many families are spread out over the country. This can present not only logistical challenges, but financial and emotional ones as well when you attempt to make it “home” for the holidays.
Determine if the benefits of being home are worth the stresses you may encounter getting there – especially if you are organizing this pilgrimage for your household. If home is where your heart is, then may the force be with you in your travels! But if traveling makes your heart weary, know you can create the feeling of home wherever you are.
By volunteering your time at a shelter, visiting a nursing home, or helping serve meals at a community center, you might help create the feeling of home or family for someone who no longer has one.
8. All I Want for Christmas Is…
What do you really want? What will having this item do for you? How will it satisfy your soul? What about those on your list? What might they really want? Can you give it to them in a more authentic or direct way? Is it possible for you to make something or do something that brings them more joy than the buying an expensive gift that busts your budget?
Gifts of listening, laughter, and sincere compliments are always appreciated but not always afforded to others. When you really listen and don’t interrupt, daydream, or plan your response, the gift of listening is priceless.
Same for the gift of laughter. Clipping cartoons or sharing articles, blog posts (like this one!), tweets, or funny videos lets your recipient know how much you value the times you laugh together.
When a compliment is simple, sincere, and specific to the person such as, “You really worked hard on this project and it shows in your client’s feedback,” or “That was a hilarious interpretation of The 12 Days of Christmas,” it benefits the giver as well as the receiver.
However you say to another, “I see who you are. I get you. I’m glad you exist in my universe,” is a gift indeed.
9. Silent Night …
I know what I’m about to write is a radical suggestion, but for your own good, I’m going to write it anyway. Unplug from your electronic devices for one night and plug in to the gifts of the season.
From the sound of carolers outside your window to the squeals of small children on Santa’s lap to the brightly colored lights decorating the streets where you live, sense the beauty that surrounds you. See, hear, taste, touch, and smell the sensations of the season.
Sometimes all you need to do this is a silent night. Remember, you have the right to remain silent.
10. Joy to the World…
In the end, it all comes down to attitude. Maybe you harbor an inner Scrooge who threatens to declare, “Bah humbug!” on all this festive frenzy. Keeping him in check may require reframing your beliefs about what you “should” do, “must” do, or “have to” do as a choice, something you “choose to” do.
Although you may be a creature of habit, you are also an evolving creature. What gives you meaning and brings you joy one year may not the next. You may decide some traditions are simply not worth the energy it takes to carry them out and invent new ones to suit your lifestyle.
When life becomes a choice instead of a chore, the world looks a lot brighter…and you have more energy to spread that joy around!
As much as I’d like to end this post on a Joy to the World note, I do want to acknowledge that the holidays can be a very difficult time for many people. For years, I dreaded them. Here’s a tip for those of you who have a hard time with holidays for any number of reasons.
I’ll Have a Blue Christmas Without You…
Despite the festive feel of brightly colored lights and pretty packages under the tree, the holidays can bring up intense feeling of loss, longing, not belonging, depression, and wanting something other than what you have.
You may feel guilty for not enjoying the holidays or for being here when others are not and consequently overspend, overindulge, or over-schedule yourself to escape your feelings.
However, denying your feelings causes them to come back and bite you when you least expect it. Give your feelings the time and attention they deserve. Find someone to talk to or write in a journal. You don’t have to go through this alone. Connect with others who share your struggles.
I wish you whatever you need or desire to feel loved and appreciated this holiday season.
Please share this with anyone who could use some stress reducing strategies to get through the holidays. And feel free to share your tried and true tips in the comments below.
Thank you for reading. Happy, Healthy Holidays to YOU!